28) A Good Day - Earla's Guest Blog - 11th November

a good day....

I still have on my rose-coloured glasses for I see a beautiful vibrant, fun loving woman on the couch next to me. We smile, nod, we know we have a good life as sisters together. So it is with tears of sadness and joy that I write from my heart with the acknowledgement that my sister Leigh-Ann will die of cancer. There is no denying it now, it is to be. Knowing this, after a Sunday of intermittent tears and family laughter, Leigh-Ann said it herself ‘This was a good day.’

Steve’s documenting his journey with Leigh-Ann throughout is an act of courage I’ve appreciated; shared observations are hard to repeat to the people that care.

My sister is a private rather shy person so for her to have a blog ‘out there’ is incredibly open of her. My observation is through this process, Leigh-Ann has shared her generous open nature that allows us the time to process how we are each experiencing her life now.  

Leigh-Ann is open to this experience - yes, dying is a terrible way to spend the end of a good life yet there is nothing we can do. The timing and ‘how’ are out of our hands. At three years old, my wish came true for a sister and I was given one.  It took a few younger years to get the petty bickering out of our systems. For many years, I have been thankful for what I asked for. I can say whole heartedly, we are dear friends. I am ‘working’ to not miss my friend just yet.

Yesterday, André said it best, there is no white elephant in the room. We are talking about the process of life now. Since the morning Leigh-Ann told me she is coming home, I have been using my journal, going inward and reaching out, coming to my way of making sense out of all ‘this.’ I now know you can’t. It is what it is. Period. Leigh-Ann has this disease, we are not rolling over and dying. As the ones that love her the most, we accept and we live. We learn. Learn that it is a good life to just ‘be’ with one another and enjoy. Yes, in this modern family along with polished friends, we do blog, text ‘I Luv U’, post photos captured on cell phones and Apple’s photo booth ‘movies’. As family, we savour the natural moments too. 

We love each other deeply. No drama. Just love.

Last night, Steve asked me to blog about our family day together. I have had a hard time reading the blog; somedays it takes me a while to read as we are living it here in my home. In my own way, while the house is quiet each morning, I ‘catch and release’ through my way, my funny little cathartically books to get what I feel out of my body. I have learned the ‘good value’ of writing things out of your body - taking what you feel inside and putting it down on paper or a blog is a release. 

So today, during a quiet morning in our house in Canada, there are murmurings. Leigh-Ann connects with Mom and her daughter Sarah on the couch, Michel back from his morning walk makes us coffee, Steve sleeping, I blog. As my sister is my most trusted editor, l will read this draft to Leigh-Ann because we are open and real with one another. 

It is a good day. 

xox, Earla