This is my final blog.
I know that I would forget to include many of Leigh-Ann's friends names in my last blog. I apologise for that. The problem was that she had so many friends. Many of whom were her friends before I knew her and some I have never met.
When we had a party at the padel club in 2012 we invited over 100 people and we could have invited more!!
She really was that popular, much more so than had I ever realised.
The blog has been visited over 25,500 times from 10 different countries. I don't think she knew that many people! so I think that her story touched many more around the world who were or are experiencing similar situations.
People have told me how strong I was to write the blog but I don't agree. It was a selfish act as it helped me feel better. As the following grew I also realised that it could be helping others deal with their own traumas and so I could not stop writing it.
Three months ago Leigh-Ann and I were playing padel at our beloved Club de Raqueta, we were cycling and running regularly. In August she told me that she was the fittest that she had ever been in her life.
Leigh-Ann did not smoke and drank very little. She ate healthily (apart from the chips, that's Candian for crisps).
Leigh-Ann died just two weeks after returning from Maui. In Maui she was able to have normal conversations, ate quite well (we went out for meals), could drink and had the energy to be up and out and about all day albeit in a wheelchair.
Three days before her death we recorded a video message to her friends Mari Nieve and Francis in Spanish! She found this difficult but she was able to find the words she needed.
The speed of her decline since Maui was a shock but it was also a relief for me. Three days before her death she had given all three of us strict instructions not to offer her any more food or drink. She was ready to "go".
I believe that she was cognisant until the end. 24 hours earlier she was fully engaged in the meditation and alert when people visited.
She remained a good kisser and hugger throughout...
I think that she had the last laugh. She decided that she did not want to go to a hospice so she checked out of "Hotel Legault" early.
Thank you for everyone's support and kindness. It's been quite a journey.
Leigh-Ann does not want a funeral and will be cremated. Her ashes will return to Spain and spread, by her family, on her favourite beach (Burriana) early one morning when no-one is looking!
How I miss those little things that bugged me!
Goodbye Leigh-Ann, hasta luego guapa...
Thank you Steve for sharing this painful journey with the us and the World. Johnny and I are so sad that lovely Leigh-Ann had to leave you, Sarah, and the rest of her family and friends far too early in her life.
ReplyDeleteYour journey will continue, this one the arduous one through grief. It is a deeply personal one and you will likely find that it will diverge from the other's own pathways at times.
Much love,
Michelle & Johnny De Martin
Steve I am so glad Leigh Ann is at peace now and even more happy that her ashes will be brought back to her favourite place Spain to be laid to rest. We can take some comfort in knowing when we walk along Burriana beach we can be close to her again. I am so sorry I never got to meet you. The last time we were together she promised me I would get to meet you some time in the New Year. I had a lovely day with her at Tropysol and I will be ever thankful I had those last few hours in her company. We her friends will all miss her so much. I hope some day in the future we get to meet so I can say a personal thanks to you for taking such good care of her to the end. She was so happy to have found you and you her. I'm sorry you couldn't grow old together. Now you and her family need time to grieve in peace. Thanks to you, Leigh Anne's family and most of all Leigh Ann for allowing us to be part of a very personal and private time of your lives when most would have found it too much to bare. I have taken great comfort in knowing what was happening to her in both her good and bad moments. It has allowed me time to come to terms with her untimely death, rather than finding out months later. Your life will never be the same again but I hope in the weeks and months to come you can find comfort in remembering all the good times you had together. Stay strong, just like our friend Leigh Ann was right to the very end. Condolences and love at this time to you all in Canada and everyone of her friends who will also be sharing your feelings of loss. Bless you all. Lx
ReplyDeleteFor Steve,
ReplyDeleteWhen tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not here to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you
And each time you think of me,
I know you will miss me too.
When tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we are far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right there in your heart.
I am sure Leigh-Ann would be saying this to you.
First of all our deepest and sincere thanks to Steve for keeping this missive about the last months of Leigh Ann's time. Judy and I first came to know Leigh Ann through our daughter Jessica who first met Sarah, attending their grade 6 French Emersion class on Fairfield Island here in Chilliwack, not so long it seems but many years ago now. Sarah became Jessica's BFF and the two of them were inseparable from the get go. Sarah also became our surrogate daughter and beloved family member, as much a member of our family as anyone can be. Lord knows how many times Sarah would arrive just after her supper at home to have another supper with us. She would phone ahead of time to compare our meal with what Leigh Ann had prepared. The special meals at Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter anytime we were serving traditional would always be with Sarah as much a part of our family gathering as she had at home. Leigh Ann also became a mother to Jessica and steadfast friend and mentor to Judy and me. Over the years we shared the "girls" in many birthdays, Christmas's, adventures, camping and travels etc. Leigh Ann was a true person of life and caring of others especially toward Jessica. We truly missed the ability to visit with Leigh Ann since her return always insisting that 'tomorrow' we would try. We also knew that her time at home with family and friends was precious and chose not to intrude until she felt well enough to visit without distraction. As so often is the case though time ran out and in the passing we are truly sorry. Leigh Ann made the most of the time she had, making sure she spent time with all who cared most deeply for her. We relish in that time she had with them. So in this time of passing, we express our deepest sympathy and condolences to Steve, Sarah, Erla and all the family in their loss of such a wonderful person. Please keep her happy times as the memories most cherished, as we will do in support of Sarah as a member of our family forever.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Steve, for providing us with this blog and sharing the last month's of Leigh-Ann's time with us. Leigh-Ann was a student at the University of the Fraser Valley and when she finished our program I knew that I did not want to lose touch with her. We kept contact over the years and I think I lived vicariously through her during her years in Spain. She has been so fortunate to have the support and love of you and her close friends and family. My thoughts are with you all. Leigh-Ann put others at ease right to the end--so thoughtful and unselfish.
ReplyDeleteI am just so so sad ! Love to you privileged people who are related to this wonderful lady ! XXX
ReplyDeleteSteve, this blog has been inspirational without you probably knowing. For me anyway. I would like to pass on my deepest sympathy on behalf of all your Friends and Colleagues at Explorer Travel. Many people have called me over the last 48 hours asking to pass on their regards to you and Leigh Ann's family.
ReplyDeleteRegards
Steve H
Over the last four months we have had many people tell us how inspirational Steve's blog was for them. Leigh-Ann was his editor for the first while and though the blog was his perspective, he had Leigh-Ann's backing in sharing his side of the story.
ReplyDeleteFor anyone missing Leigh-Ann, and hearing her voice., here is her blog entry from when she first arrived at Spain. http://leigh-ann-spain.blogspot.ca/2008/01/first-notes-from-nerja.html
In her own words, you'll hear about her life in Spain... before she met Steve, before she got sick, Leigh-Ann was our mom/sister/daughter, a Canadian woman going for her dream. We miss her deeply and always will. She was our Leigh-Ann.xoxox, Earla