57) Confused - 24th December

The person I knew three months ago in Nerja is not the person that is sleeping upstairs whilst I write this Blog on Xmas Eve.

The contrast was mainly physical until now. Leigh-Ann has lost so much weight that she has gone from a "Perfect 10" to a XXS and now probably a child's size.

Leigh-Ann made a huge effort to join me at 
Muddy Waters for Breakfast this morning

She has no energy, which is hardly surprising when she eats almost nothing day after day.
Walking is slow and Leigh-Ann needs supporting.

All the above has happened over the course of many weeks.

The recent change has been her cognitive skills which have deteriorated quickly over the last 48 hours.

Physically and mentally she is now where she was at the worst point when she was taking morphine for her pain several weeks ago.

Leigh-Ann is very confused. 

Have you ever asked a really old person a question and the answer has been slow in returning? And then the response is often a request to repeat the question? And this can go back and forth for a while until you decide to change the question for something simpler only to get the same response?

This is how Leigh-Ann is at the moment.

Conversation is, therefore, non-existent and I have to coax her to do things like go to the bathroom, take her pills, lay down and sleep. All these things are challenges not because she is resistant or argumentative but just because she cannot compute them.

A well earned sleep

It makes me very sad to compare her now to the beautiful, fit, sporty, articulate and funny Leigh-Ann that I met over two years ago in Nerja.

No matter what her cancer tries to do to her it will never take away who she is: Leigh-Ann will always remain a beautiful person: kind, generous, compassionate and loving.