Why? Because today Earla, Sarah and I decided that we were no longer able to effectively care for Leigh-Ann and that her current state of health presented a real hazard to her safety and we are not trained to look after someone at this advanced stage of illness. I think that decision will also save our relationships!
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| The Smile - Sydney 2013 |
At the same time there is a deep, deep sadness becuase patients never return home from a Hospice and it represents the last stage of her life.
I (we) believe that Leigh-Ann is still able to take in much of what is going on around her but she is not able to communicate her thoughts. She has a very dry mouth and swallowing is becoming more of a challenge. These factors coupled with the effects of her medication, her weakness and her illness makes thinking and talking extremely difficult.
Her co-ordination is a big factor in our decision due to the fact that she is now falling quite often despite our best efforts and this presents a very real safety issue.
The entire extended "Cassels" family came to Harrison today to see Leigh-Ann. Whilst they all wanted to "visit" (that's Canadian for "see her") with her they were only allowed to come to the house in pairs and for a restricted period so that Leigh-Ann did not become over tired and everyone could then enjoy her company.
She knew who everyone was and became particularly lucid when the children saw her! She wore the biggest, brightest smile. She loved seeing everyone but especially the children.
Last night was the toughest night so far. Leigh-Ann struggled to sleep (that's a side effect of steroids) and wanted to get dressed and leave the house at 3:00 am. She would regularly sit up in bed and start talking. Then she would need to go to the bathroom (more than once). Bathroom visits now take about 20 minutes and may or may not be fruitful...
It was hard work settling her down but she finally fell asleep when I asked her to give me a cuddle and I held her in my arms for the rest of the night.
Tomorrow is another day. The family will still be here and we have a Home Care Assistant coming in the morning for four hours allowing us all to be together and relax.
One of my new brothers in law, Alan, brought a bike over today for me to borrow and I am looking forward to riding with him in the morning. I only hope that my legs are also looking forward to it?!
Steve this is the best thing you and the family could have done for Leigh-Ann and for yourselves. The hospice is a sanctuary and they will take care of you as a family as well as caring for Leigh-Ann. This will also bring you all closer together and Leigh-Ann will see and feel this happening even if she is unable to tell you.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy you bike ride and don't forget to tell Leigh-Ann all about it , she loves to know that people are happy xx
I'm really sorry to hear this news ... Unfortunately is was inevitable. Hospices are wonderful places where their patients receive the finest of holistic care and also great family support. You will now be able to enjoy whatever time Leigh Ann has left without being totally stressed an exhausted from caring for her 24/7 knowing that all her needs will be met by very caring professionals. Please let her know all her friends in England and Spain have her constantly in their thoughts. A big hug and kiss for Leigh Ann from me. Lx
ReplyDeleteI can't believe what has happened to Leigh Ann in only 12 weeks. The last time I saw her was on Burriana beach at the end of Sept the day before I returned to England. She was a little late in arriving having just come from the doctors. She showed me her blood results saying all were fine except one ... When I saw that test result I knew something bad was going on but didn't feel able to express this to Leigh Ann only to say she must keep her apps with the doctors. I knew then her prognosis was going to be poor. Since then not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of her and in the very early days prayed that the results were wrong or some miracle would happen and her health would be restored ... Unfortunately that miracle was not to be and now we are sadly going to lose a beautiful person who could light up a room with her contagious smile. I am so very very sad that we won't have another day at the beach as we promised each other when we parted on that day. God bless you Leigh Ann. I pray for you to be pain free and comfortable to the end. In my thoughts always. Lx
ReplyDeleteDear Steve,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your thoughts.
I can't imagine what you are feeling right now....
I'm sure your heart is breaking.
Much LOVE to all.
Roxanne
Very sorry to hear she has gone to the hospice, but very happy to hear that you can all now be family and not carers. That will make such a difference for all of you. Enjoy your bike ride and Steve thank you for all you have done for my friend. I know you love each other very much and so thankful you both have had the time you have had together.
ReplyDelete