16) Sarah's Guest Blog - (Leigh-Ann's daughter) - 31st October

A New West state of mind

This is Sarah, Leigh-Ann's daughter, ie guest blogger :)

Another test filled day for my mom. Not only physical, but mentally too. Or am I speaking for myself?

Mom's day started with a wakeup at 530am, after her and Steve heard trains all night from their New Westminster hotel room. I wish her lesions would hop aboard and be carried away! I say lesions instead of cancer, as I'm sending major hopeful thoughts her lesions are benign. Innocent till proven guilty? Maybe more delusion vs faith? I call her tumours lil love lumps...my moms so loving her body's literally bulging with love. Hahaha. Gotta stay positive in times like these! 

A Walkway in New Westminster

Mom ad an early morning endoscopy with anaesthetics, thaannnk goodness. Mom describes her last scope without them as an alien inside her. Drugs can be a good thing, no matter what we tell children :)

She also had an ultrasound, fine needle biopsy. I think it will be good to be able to understand what type of tissue cells make up her lesion so we know more of what we are dealing with. Dr. Cheung, head of the GI department, did the procedures which provides some comfort. Having to wait 3-7 days for the results does not. This waiting game is a doozie. Sitting with the unknown is tough, but a seemingly necessary, part of this whole experience. 

I am continuously grateful for Steve...mom's biggest advocate. He was immediately on the phone updating Marie, Mom's nurse practitioner, and enquiring if she could speed up the wait time. Like Mom says...he's a guy who gets things done! Every ill person needs a Steve...to light a fire, remember endless details, and probably more important give endless supplies of hugs and laughter. I maintain Brits have the best humour!

Mom slept the whole way home. Such a blessing because she had been quite groggy, uncomfortable, and nauseous. We wanted to stay in chilliwack until 6hrs post biopsy, in case Mom had a reaction to it and we needed access to a hospital. There was a chance her pancreas would protest and cause acute severe pain. It didn't, thankfully. We spent the time having lunch with grandma Joey. A few tears were had because mom felt so out of sorts. This was the first time I'd seen my mom be so sick and hit home that her health really is in jeopardy. Not an easy thing to bear witness too, yet still feels like a privilege I'm able to physically be present. All kinds of moments spent together are special, even the bad day ones, when you live far away from loved ones.

Arriving back home to Harrison felt like I entered a haven. It was a quiet night and we are all looking forward to a pj, movie and test/appointment free day tomorrow. 

Can we all just take a minute and appreciate this blog?! Daily updates have been so comforting and wonderfully helps mom not have to repeat herself. What a terrific idea.

15) Final Test - 30th October

Leigh-Ann had her final tests today at the Royal Columbian Hospital in New Westminster, Vancouver.

Leigh-Ann finally got angry with the world last night. She is angry with people who do not look after themselves. People who are overweight, drink too much or smoke. She just wants to hit them! She looks after herself. She eats well, drinks little and exercises a lot. It's unfair.

Royal Columbian Hospital, Vancouver

We stayed in a hotel close by because we had an early start. We arrived t the hospital at 6:45am and Leigh-Ann was finished by 9:30am having had an ultrasound and a biopsy.

The only thing that the doctor, Dr Chung, would confirm prior to the biopsy results is that she has a tumour.

The whole process was fast and efficient.

Sarah joined us whilst Leigh-Ann was recovering from the anaesthetic.

Dr Chung advised us to stay close to the hospital for about 6 hours just in case her pancreas reacted badly to the biopsy but we decided to leave Vancouver after a couple of hours and drive to Chilliwack to have lunch with her mum, Joey. There is a hospital there if there was a problem.

So, that's it. We now have to wait for the results which could take another frustrating 3 - 7 days...

14) Scan - 29th October

It's been another good day.

It started a little earlier than I am used to but Leigh-Ann had an easy scan at Chilliwack Hospital this morning after which we all drove to Vancouver to check in to our hotel ready for the ultrasound and endoscopy tomorrow.

View from our hotel room on the
Fraser River, Vancouver

Sarah, her daughter came with us.

We had an early supper with Sarah who left us afterwards to meet friends whilst we retired to our hotel room to watch a movie.

Last night was strange. We found the CD with all the scan images that were made in Malaga, three weeks ago. Sarah, a nurse, was keen to see them.

It was a little weird discussing the inside of Leigh-Ann's body with her daughter on a very technical, professional level. The images were difficult to understand when displayed on a big TV screen so we did not actually learn too much more.

Before going to bed Leigh-Ann had to drink a pint of radioactive liquid which would make the organs more easily seen and distinguishable when scanned. It tasted yucky, of course.

Afterwards she glowed in the dark...

13) Action! - 28th October

Now we have some action!

Leigh-Ann really got into the health system here properly on Friday and now things are happening faster but it will never be fast enough, of course.

She has a scan at Chilliwack Hospital tomorrow morning at 8:50 am. In the afternoon we are going to Vancouver to stay overnight ready for an endoscopy and ultrasound and, possibly, a biopsy on Wednesday morning at 7:00 am.

Although we have had another quiet day here things will start gathering pace from now on.

Leigh-Ann has had the opportunity to spend most of the day with her daughter, Sarah. Sarah is taking everything very calmly although I know that she is very upset about the situation. I guess that being a nurse she can look at her mum's illness from two different perspectives: a professional one and an emotional one. 

12) A nice quiet day - 27th October

I have nothing much to say about today. Thats a good thing. Isn't it?

I like Sundays like this.

It started with a short walk and breakfast at Muddy Waters by the lake with Leigh-Ann and her mum, Joey.

Harrison Hot Springs Hotel Spa Waters

Then games and chats followed by a session in  the spa waters at the Harrison Hot Springs Hotel.

Leigh-Ann's new medication is still working really well and she has had a good day.

The spa was followed by drinks and nachos in the hotel bar. Leigh-Ann's daughter, Sarah arrived later from her new job as a nurse in Masset, Haida Gwaii, near the Alaskan border. That was an emotional reunion. 

That's a good Sunday!

11) A Good Day - Saturday 26th October

The good thing about today is that there is nothing bad to talk about.

Harrison Beer Fest

Leigh-Ann's new pain medication is working extremely well. She slept for about 7 hours last night and has had a fun day with her extended family.

The day started with a BIG Canadian breakfast of waffles, syrup and coffee with her sister, brother, niece, nephew and mum as well as partners, husbands and wives.

There was plenty of noise and chatter.

Leigh-Ann with sister Earla and brother Alan

At 1:00 we all headed for the local October Beer Fest at the lake where for $20 you could taste three different micro beers and eat buffalo wings! There were 30 breweries represented. Around 500 people attended.

Pizza at 6:00 pm followed by a lot of family chit chat till late.Apart from making fun of my English accent it was enjoyable.

Leigh-Ann felt pretty good all day and kept up with the pace.

Yes, we need more good days like this one.

10) Hospital - Friday 25th October

Leigh-Ann and I went for a routine doctor's appointment this morning which didn't go as planned.

It should have been a simple review of what is happening with tests and appointments but turned out to be a lot more.

Chilliwack Hospital

The conversation became quite intense and I think that the stress of what was being said caused Leigh-Ann to feel nauseas. Her doctor, Marie, decided to get Leigh-Ann to lay down and rest whilst she took her vitals. 

Leigh-Ann barely had a pulse and very low blood pressure. Marie called an ambulance immediately.

About 10 minutes later three firemen appeared in the room including the local fire chief!

Resting

When the ambulance service is over stretched, the fire department always comes out first. The paramedics arrived minutes later and Leigh-Ann was taken to Chilliwack hospital for further tests.

The whole episode was really scary and, probably a foretaste of what is to come over the next few days.

Leigh-Ann was stabilised quickly and she was discharged after just a few hours.

I had my first ride in the back of an ambulance which was great fun. No siren, sadly, but we had flashing lights.

50 Surgeons Rush into Action

The good news is that her appointment for a scan has been brought forward to next week. That means she will have a scan and ultrasound and endoscopy next week and, maybe, a biopsy as-well. Lucky for some.

That was quite a day...

Oh, Leigh-Ann thought that her doctor at the hospital was actually hotter than George!(Sorry, no picture yet).

9) Action! - Thursday 24th October

Can you even imagine what it is like right now to be Leigh-Ann. I can't. The pain, no sleep, can't eat and waiting, knowing that something horrible is growing inside your body.

Leigh-Ann's Doctor: Dr. Cheung.

I joke with her that this is like "Alien" and she is Sigourney Weaver! One night it is going to erupt out of her body but, unlike in the film, her body will mend and go back to normal and the alien will get me instead...

Well, she has the same hair cut as Sigourney had in the film.

Her doctor returned from a few days leave today and she got straight onto Leigh-Ann's case and got things moving - at last.

Leigh-Ann is scheduled for a endoscopy, ultrasound and maybe, just maybe, a biopsy at the same time with Dr. Chueng. 

This will be at the Royal Columbian Hospital, New Westminster, next Wednesday. The doctor believes that once they have the results that the scan appointment (currently 14th November) will be moved forward.

She was also prescribed some stronger pain relief. Happy dayz. Now we can both sleep, hopefully.

We went to a place called "The Coffee Shop" for lunch and I ordered an americano with my panini. I was told abruptly that they did not serve "speciality" coffees just regular coffee! When the "panini" came it was a toasted brown bread sandwich! I said nothing knowing that I would get a similar answer. That's life. How I miss Nerja.

Royal Columbian Hospital, New Westminster, BC

8) Good News - Wednesday 23 October

I haven't shaved for a while!
(It's a Sasquatch)

After a very frustrating time waiting for things to get going we have finally been given two appointments for Leigh-Ann.

One is next Wednesday for a endoscopy, ultrasound and, maybe, a biopsy and the other is for a scan on 14th November!

These appointments cannot come soon enough.

We are hoping that the scan appointment can be brought forward after next week's procedures.

Yes, she has had all these before and I am not sure that the doctor that she has been referred to knows this as to repeat all these tests seems to be a waste of money and causes unnecessary delay in starting her treatment.

We may find out more on Friday when we have another appointment with her local doctor.

We are just cooking potatoes au gratin and sausages for our dinner after another gorgeous day here in Harrison.

Leigh-Ann is suffering a lot more pain daily and has lost loads of weight but she does not complain and remains strong and positive.

My daughter, Felicity, went to see a clairvoyant last night in England and took a picture of Leigh-Ann with her. She told the lady Leigh-Ann's name and the connection to her and showed her a photograph. No more information was offered. The lady told Felicity that Leigh-Ann had pain in her stomach but that it is not cancer. She also said that she will lead a full and long life, that she loves the sun and travelling.

I am a cynic but I hope and pray that she is right...

Moving on, I treated Leigh-Ann to a hearty Canadian breakfast (she ate some of it) and then we bumped into a Sasquatch on the way home.

7) A Walk in the Park - Tuesday 22nd October

The weather in Harrison Hot Springs has been superb since we arrived. We are surrounded by mountains with beautiful trails and a road that follows the edge of the lake.

As this turned out to be another day waiting for some action we decided to try and walk to Sandy Cove along a trail just on the edge of Harrison. The trail was surprisingly steep and rocky and we decided to quit almost as soon as we started and retreated to town for coffee and toast in our favourite Bistro.

Frustrated by the lack of communication I called the doctor's office again and discovered that Leigh-Ann has a scan appointment on 14th November but there was no news regarding the biopsy.

Good news for Leigh-Ann. Her daughter, Sarah is coming for a 2 week vacation to stay with us. We hope to get out and about, so that will be a bit of fun for us. Sarah is an Registered Nurse and it will be great to ask her advice when we start to get more information about what options Leigh-Ann will hear about.

6). Tough Decisions Ahead 21st October

Monday was the best day so far for Leigh-Ann. She was able to get a good nights sleep on Sunday night and did not have the same level of pain as normal.

Earla (her sister) and Leigh-Ann had an early appointment with a counsellor. This seemed to have a very positive effect on Leigh-Ann's mindset. They both met me for a coffee at a lakeside coffee shop and bistro (Muddy Waters) and the conversation was upbeat.

Afterwards Leigh-Ann and I walked around the lagoon and chatted. Leigh-Ann started to talk about what our options might be for the future. She knows that her cancer is probably (but not certainly), inoperable and, if this is the case, she wanted to discuss where we would live and what would happen to all our possessions and dogs that we had hurriedly left behind in Spain.

Leigh-Ann and great nephew, Fraser

We had planned to spend the rest of our lives in Spain and have an apartment, a house, car, scooter, furniture, dogs, padel and friends in Nerja!

We also began to talk about chemotherapy but Leigh-Ann does not know much about it and does not want to know anything about it just yet. I have already researched it and knew that this would be another tough decision for her to make. There can be negative side effects as well as benefits for her cancer but it will not be a cure.

Strangely, these conversations have also eased the general mood and will make other topics easier to speak about in the future as things arise.

In the meantime we are still waiting for some contact from the hospital regarding the biopsy and, going forward, the treatment that will follow.

It was my turn to cook dinner last night: roast beef, roasted veggies and Yorkshire puddings. It sounded like a good idea at the time but it was my first time cooking either beef or Yorkshire puddings. The beef turned out really well but the Yorkshires did not rise and turned out soggy and, well, frankly, inedible.

5) A Reality Check - Sunday 20th October

For the first time since getting the results just over one week ago Leigh-Ann talked about where she wants to be if the doctors are not able to operate.

It's a question that I had been asking myself but afraid to bring up as it sounds too negative, too final.

It actually cleared the air being able to talk about such a "finality". In a way it now means that almost no topic is "off limits" and we do not have to be overly sensitive about what we talk about.

Anyway, the answer was "Spain". 

The problem is that Spain is a long way from Canada and her family and Canadian friends. A bigger problem is that she is Canadian and would not get free health care in Spain.

The question for me is what do I do? I own an apartment in Nerja and have a five year contract to rent the house we live in. We also have three dogs in Spain. My business is based in the UK and with an 8 hour time difference it would be very hard to run it effectively from Canada.

It would be a tough decision but we are not at that point and may never be at the point of having to make these decisions.

Handmade Canadian Waffles for Breakfast
Earla and husband, Michel

In the evening we went into Chilliwack to see "We're the Millers" starring Jennifer Anniston as a stripper turned international drug smuggler. It was a great film, very funny and highly recommended.

4) Waiting - Saturday 19th October

The problem with waiting is that you can easily dwell on the negative. Too much time to think is not good so I try to keep Leigh-Ann as occupied as possible.

A good example is last night when we were trying to remember which dance movie starred Patrick Swayze? Was it Flash dance or Dirty Dancing and something else? This seemed like a safe topic...

I then stupidly looked up his profile on Wikipedia to get the answer and we read the first line to discover that he had died of pancreatic cancer within one year of being diagnosed!

When you are staying with family you don't have the same freedom as you do at home. Her sister has given us use of their second car but my licence has expired and Leigh-Ann is usually too tired to want to drive so we remain reliant upon rides. Coupled with staying in a very small village a long way from anywhere limits our options.

Despite these drawbacks we have kept busy so far and have avoided any morbid conversation. 

Waiting at the Doctor's Surgery in Agassiz

Our early morning job is now always replying to emails from friends and family after which we went shopping in Chilliwack with Leigh-Ann's sister, Earla, followed by a bit of baby sitting her great nephew, 9 month old Fraser (named after the Fraser Valley)!

Leigh-Ann is now in constant pain. A sharp, stabbing pain which seems to move around her torso from her stomach to her back. The pain makes it hard to sleep and the lack of food to provide her with energy compounds the problem.

3) More Tests - 18th October

Jet can lag can be a benefit especially when you have to be at a clinic at 7:00am!

It's now Wednesday, October 16th and with the help of jet lag we were up at 6:00am and at the first clinic visit by 7:00am.

Leigh-Ann had to fast from 8:00pm the night before so the earlier the appointment the better. She was desperate for a cup of Canadian coffee and a bagel. So was I.

The Canadian system is so incredibly efficient which is very reassuring. We were in and out of there in minutes.

We were promised a call from the oncologist on or before today but it did not materialise so on Thursday morning we called the doctor to follow it up. We were told that upon review of the test results, they needed further tests done and so Leigh-Ann had to fast again and be back at the clinic on Friday morning at 7:00 am.

Leigh-Ann and Earla

The other confusing news was that Leigh-Ann now also needed a biopsy!

After breakfast Leigh-Ann's sister, Earla dove us to Hicks Lake. It is a beautiful lake just 15 minute drive away. It was a sunny warm autumn day and the sisters lay on the beach lakeside and chatted whilst I went for a run around the lake. Afterwards we all fell asleep on the beach in the sunshine. 

That brings us up to date.

Now there will be a few days waiting for the appointment for a biopsy. Once that is completed we will finally meet the oncologist.

2) "Cancer is now your job!" - 18th October

Tuesday morning could not come quickly enough as we desparately wanted to start the process and find out exactly what the prognosis is. 

The not knowing and uncertainty is worse than knowing any bad news. I had read several well known and respected websites about Leigh-Ann's cancer and they all indicated that this was a bad cancer (all cancers are bad but this is worst!) and that she probably has a very advanced tumour which may not be operable.

Harrison Lake

I started to think all sorts of unthinkable things and wanted to know if Leigh-Ann was also thinking like me but these are really difficult things to discuss.

The entire scenario is like an out of body experience. It is as if it is happening to someone else! It is surreal.

We had a early appointment with Leigh-Ann's doctor in Agassiz, a small town about 10 minutes drive away from Earla's house in Harrison Hot Springs.

Marie Weatherby, Nurse Practitioner, should be given a medal. Wow, she was excellent. Our 30 minute appointment expanded to 2 1/2 hours whilst she reassured Leigh-Ann and got all the wheels in motion. She even trawled the internet and told me where I could buy a new Apple laptop, super helpful.

Her memorable quote was: "Leigh-Ann your job now is cancer for the foreseable future! Cancer is now what you do and what you are."

Earla, Charmaine (niece), Chad and Great Nephew, Fraser
preparing Thanksgiving Dinner.

1) A Bolt from the Blue! - 18th October

Life can change in an instant.

Our Nerja friends all know how quickly things changed for Leigh-Ann. Apart from a pain in her stomach life was almost perfect for her. I guess nothing is totally perfect but it was pretty close.

After weeks and months of trying to figure out was wrong with her, last Friday we got the results of her scan and was told the news nobody wants to hear. "Leigh-Ann, I am sorry but this is not good news". Leigh-Ann has cancer. She has a tumour the size of a tennis ball in her pancreas and a much smaller one on the liver (1cm).

That was last Friday afternoon, October 4th.

We had already spoken about the possibility that she might have cancer and what we would do if she had. That decision was easy - go back home to Canada. That's where all her family live and where she understands the system, the language and any medical procedure is covered by the medical system.

We started to plan our trip immediately.

The next morning we were up at 4:00 am organising the house and booking flights and a hotel to leave that evening, Saturday.

After a short siesta we arranged dog sitters with friends, cleaned the apartment for our guests, packed and shut up the house. At 5:30 our friend Helen took us to Málaga Airport to catch the 9:00 pm flight to Luton, England. My daughter, Felicity was there to drive us from Luton to Heathrow. How grateful we were for Helen and Felicity!

Next day we were up at 7:30 and at the departure gate at Heathrow at 9:30 ready for a 9 1/2 hour flight to Vancouver.

Having lost a further 8 hours (9 in total) we were welcomed by Leigh-Ann's sister, Earla, at midday (Canadian time).

Sisters - Earla and Leigh-Ann (very jet lagged)

Everything happened so quickly.

Monday was Thanksgiving so it was not possible to get an appointment with a doctor. Finally time to relax and enjoy being back home and with my family. One day of respite after a very hectic three days.